February 27, 2012

The Jerky Girls reeled me in like a sucker fish.

I was at Marshall's, and in the midst of looking for a new blouse that made me look 15lbs lighter, I overheard this conversation in the fitting room.....

The two youngish ladies come in after I was already in my stall.
One was next to me, the other was across the hall/aisle.

Girl #1: Oh my gosh...I love this. It makes my b**bs and belly look like perfection! Ayee!!
Girl #2 : Oh, cool. Hold on a minute, I need to finish getting this on and then I want to see.

Girl #2 enters #1's stall: "Oh wow...that LOOKS great!" followed by a few sentences in spanish....then some spanish mixed with english.
All I could really understand were the words sh*t girlllll over and over.

Now, they are both in the same stall trying on different outfits.
#1 and #2 are giddy, laughing and cussing....mostly in spanish now, with a few english words thrown in for me.
I understand the's mostly cuss words with a lot of 'oh my God's' mixed in.

The laughing, the sh*t girlllll and 'oh my God'ing' goes on for a few minutes.

This is where I start to pay attention:

#2 says to #1: Dang girl, YOU look really really good.

#1 Thanks! I've geen going to this place on The Boulevard! It's super cheap and never crowded!

#2: wow....I need to go where you are going, because YOU have never looked hotter.

me thinking: Wow, she must be working out....sounds like she has some rock hard abs....I wonder WHAT gym she goes too. I want to see this girl when I get some clothes back on.

#1 and #2 keep up with the convo: Yeah, I feel really good...I try to go three nights a week....and four if I can really find the time! It's only 9.99 a month!

Me thinking: Wow, that is really cheap for a gym membership and I live close to the Boulevard! 

#2 says to #1: Dang girl, you keep this up and you will look like Snookie!

Followed by laughter and more spanish/cussing.

Me thinking: What? Snookie? What? Did Snookie just lose a lot of weight and start working out? How did she stop drinking long enough to exercise safely? Is she working out with The Situation?

Then, it dawns on me....#1 has been going to a tanning salon.
Pulled me into this conversation, and it was about a tanning salon.
Stupid jerky tan girls!

I can't wait to see them in 10 years when their faces has fallen off;  Sh*t girlllllllll.

PS. I did find a shirt that made me look thinner. Exactly .2 lbs thinner.
Aye caramba.


  1. what do i say? you crack me up :) i can just see you peering out the side of the curtain trying to figure it all out!!

  2. I thought for SURE you were gonna say she was taking a Zumba class. tee hee.

  3. people in...Florida....might go to a tanning salon???? I s'pose that is like people up getting a snow machine to add MORE snow to their already snow covered yard????

  4. That's too funny. I wish I could have been there - to hear the conversation and to see the look on your face once you realized what they were talking about. ;-)

  5. Bwhaha Amazing how we can be entertained in a change room:)

    And seriously, don't you live in Florida? Why on earth do they need to go to a tanning bed! Someone should tell there mothers. Those things are bad news:)

  6. You really do looked surprised in that photo! But no, that shirt is not your color.

  7. Thanks for the laugh. I could picture your face during that cono.

  8. Sh*% Gurl, you can tell a story!

  9. May we please see a photo of that new shirt, Girllllll?
    I'm so glad that you take us with you on these forays. It helps those of us who don't get out much, especially to the other Coast. ;)

  10. How utterly disappointing that they think Snookie is something to strive for!

    This post reminded me that I need to find more clothes that deduct .2 pounds instead of adding it.

  11. I thought you were going to get to see the outfit and realize that you're idea of "looking gooood, grllll" doesn't match yours.

    While I value that girls today, in general, have a better body image at a range of weights than women of our generation, I am sometimes taken aback at what that actually looks like.

  12. What? They actually talked to one another and didn't spend the time on their smart phones?

    Glad you found a shirt.

  13. Hahahah...I was trying stuff on at Macys and this woman in the stall next to me had a friend on speaker phone and I could hear their entire conversation very LOUDLY!!! It was all in English and not nearly as fun as the conversation you over heard. Come work out with'd like it...I guarantee it :)

  14. What can I say? I didn't realize such fascinating conversations take place in women's changing rooms.

  15. You crack me up.....I would have been sucked in too!

    Should make you even prouder of your girls...too many kids personify that MTV trash image. Oy!

  16. ROFL. Seriously. I had to get up to type this.

  17. I was trying some things on where I usually shop and.....Heck, you can never hear a good conversation at the Goodwill.

  18. a shirt that makes you look .2lbs thinner? does it come in XL?
    yeah, what's with tanning beds in FLA? isn't that redundant? silly girls.

  19. Woooohoooo. Silly Jerky girls. Not to mention that in 20 years they'll look like some long lost relative of the alligator. .2# not bad...could be +.2#...SInce Boston I've been staying away from mirrors and scales. Man that lobster, bisque and mac & cheese New England style was FAB!!! xx-cassie

    ps-I love to listen in on conversations. As fun as people watching!! he he

  20. I laughed out loud and scared the sh*t out of the dog!
    Seriously, hispanic girls tanning in FL? Did I miss something?

  21. LOL! They can keep the tanning. I'd rather look 15 pounds lighter. :)

  22. Ok, this was genuinely funny. You had me on pins and needles till the very end. Then the tanning part burst my "balloon". Ha! :-D
    Happy weekend,

  23. Did anyone else think it funny that someone speaking spanish would be going to get a tan? Maybe it's my frame of mind.... :)

  24. Funny conversation! You should've known it wasn't a gym.

  25. Ha, ha, ha!!! You're right, their faces will look awful in a few years! I have a classmate who tans constantly, and her skin looks awful.

  26. 10 years - - nothing - - -wait until they are 'my' age or older. They will be living at the surgeon getting their skin cancers removed. That's what all the 70+ plus bunch are doing at our church!
    You should write a book - - or do stand-up comedy - - but whatever you do, don't stop blogging!!!

  27. Sorry, but this is hilarious! My guess is they didn't look that good anyway...I am certain you looked better!

  28. Sorry, but this is hilarious! My guess is they didn't look that good anyway...I am certain you looked better!


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