June 09, 2009

My first boyfriend resembled a combo of Paul McCartney and John Cusack. Really.

But he had one big flawmaybe, um, I think…

McCARTNEYblog-767746 ilcusack

A young Paul McCartney and present day John Cusack.

He was my first official boyfriend.

I am so not counting Robert, H.E. or Alberto from Elementary school. (I have not changed names to protect the innocent, because, well I can’t make up names very well)

The year was 1983. A full 2 years before I met the Coach. (my permanent boyfriend)

Why this thought has come to me lately, I don’t know, but I have a big question for my first boyfriend:

ARE YOU GAY???? How about a little Gay? (like someone can be a little pregnant?)

Not that it really matters….Cause if anyone loves gay folks, it is ME.

I have thought of him from time to time. And not in that ‘longing to see you’ kind of way either…it was more of that: ‘I hope your life turned out good for you’ kind of way.

He was a really nice guy. Almost tooooo nice.

Remember when I was bragging complaining about my wonderful job working the ‘bar’ at ponderosa when I was 15? If you did not read that boring as heck intriguing story, it is HERE…and don’t mind the smell of chick peas, that will go away eventually. promise.

Well, I was working the floor of the Ponderosa and HE was working the kitchen. He was a cook. Actually he was the only head chef.

He was a few years older than me.

This was also a few years before I acquired my finely tuned “gaydar.”

Having a good gaydar is one of my finer points. That and organizing. jealous? sure.

These skills will take me places. (like the Container store)

The reasons I now think that he was gay at the time, and did not figure it out till later:

*He was always nice to me. always.

*He loved my clothes. (I was always a bit edgy and did not follow trends, he noticed and liked that)

*He drove a red firebird. (sounds non-gay, but see below)

*His favorite band was LoverBoy. It said so on his vanity plate.

*He did not kiss me until about our 16th date. And even then, he asked first!

*Some of our co-workers told me he might be gay.

*He always complimented my hair.

*He seemed to get tongue tied talking to me.

*Some of our co-workers told me he might be gay. (did I already stress this?)

*He took me to the fair and could not win a prize at the basketball throw to save my his life.

Consensus: do you think he was gay?


**note: I never inspired him to do this scene above, but then again, that movie did not come out until 1989….bummer for me**

I can’t even remember how/when we broke up.

But shortly after we broke up I started dating a tall blonde dishwasher from Jersey.

He was model gorgeous; but a total dog.

I realized early on that even Gay boyfriends can be sooo much better than bad ones!!!!


  1. Yep - he was gay! Especially the part of him complimenting your clothes and waiting 16 dates to kiss you. He probably just didn't know it yet!
    And I love John Cusack - I can't have you comparing him to a gay guy though - LOL! Cuz if anything happens w/ Greg - I am CALLING John Cusack.

  2. I thought maybe..until you said he was tounge tied around you? If you made him nervous. I say not gay.

  3. You went on 16 dates before he kissed you? Did you consider him a BF or just a friend?
    I like gay males as friends. They make the best girlfriends ever.

  4. LOL! Funny post. I never have developed gaydar. I always have to defer to my husbands gaydar.

  5. Maybe he was just a really nice, sweet guy who is making some other lady really happy right now? But, in reality, he was probably gay...

  6. maybe Gay - I don't have a very good gay radar, honestly. would be interesting to find him now and see if he is with Lance or Nance...

    your writing is so funny! I like your style.

  7. You just reminded me that my first almost-boyfriend also looked like John Cusack. We went to winter formal together and probably would have had a future if he hadn't had to move to Egypt because of his dad's job.

    If you think he might have been gay he probably was.

  8. I have no idea. I am baffled. My Dad and sister LOVED Ponderossa. If we did good on our report cards we would go there for Sunday lunch. It was VERY exciting for us. I love you even more now that I know you worked there.

  9. oh boy you got me riled here bee!! i was just telling karen how unfair it is being a guy the other day. let's say some girl makes the moves on me, and i say no thanks. what am i labeled, a homo because i wouldn't sleep with everything under the sun... (now i use this example knowing the fact there ain't a whole lot of ladies who want me!!... he he..) cause he is a gentlemen and doesn't jump you (ha ha...) on the first or second, or sixtenth date he is gay? come on ... and the kid is hot tonite is one of my favorite songs of all time!!....he he... p.s. if he was gay it wouldn't be too fun playing the role of his "concealor"... that i will sympathize with you... he he... good post!

  10. Cute story, Suz.... Who knows whether he was gay or not??? Like you said, he was NICE to you.

    After Mel and I divorced, it took me a LONG time to even look at guys. I finally found one that I 'thought' I could like. We were 'friends'--and we 'palled' around.. He never dated me --but we did enjoy being together. And--he never touched me. You'd think I would have gotten the message. He was GAY.

    WELL---he developed AIDS ---and soon died. (This was in the '80's.) It took that to make me realize that he was GAY. I was broken-hearted. But--he was good to me and we were great friends... Can't be all bad.


  11. No... I think he was just polite and maybe a bit shy. Maybe he was taught at home to respect women and treat women like ladies :)

  12. One of my best friends in high school was/is gay, and STILL, I had a crush on him. I doubt the feeling was mutual, though.

    Wouldn't it be cool if you could track down this old boyfriend via Facebook someday?

  13. Oh dear-this is too close to home!
    My first grade love. Then later in high school-Mr. All American, Student body President, Honor Student, Basketball, Football....All the girls wanted him...and he dated me. ?? Then I met Rob after graduation. No question about it!! besides not long after that the world was told.

    John Cusack = Hunk! Too bad he opened his mouth about his politics.

  14. Sometimes I think we must have been related, in a different life. The difference (in this case) is that this story reminds me of my first HUSBAND, not my first boyfriend. He wasn't as hip & style-conscious as your BF, though.
    You crack me up on a regular basis. Thanks!

  15. Paul McCartney = straight.
    It's "Michelle", not "Michael" or "Mitchell".
    As for your first guy, I have no idea.

  16. Ah, the old boyfriend post.... maybe I should post about TROY??? Whatdya think? LOL...

  17. You tell the best stories! I have no clue, but wouldn't you like to know all the scoop on some of the people from "the old days?"

  18. My gaydar never doesn't work very well, maybe he was just nervous.

  19. Nah it just sounds like he was a very shy and insecure geek boy! or asexual. :-o a eunuch??

  20. I have no idea, but he sounds like a nice guy to me. As far as the 16th date is concerned, I think he was just intimidated by you.

  21. I wonder if he'll read this?!!!!

  22. hmmmmmm what to say what to say....
    i think as long as you have a good memory of him and those times, that's all that matters. you should look him up, maybe a friendship is still there.


  23. 16th date? Gay! or a eunuch.
    love John Cusack.

  24. I'm with Dee Dee- I don't think so- I could see me a bit in there and I am definetly not! but- if I go with shy, then the vanity plates and red sports car don't make sense. Maybe an alien-how long was his tongue? ~rick

  25. Hehe I reckon just cutely nervous :)

  26. Lovely post, I think you know one way or another when it takes 16 dates to offer a kiss!

    CJ xx

  27. Funny! He does sound too nice to be 100% hetero. 16 dates for a kiss means either extremely shy or definitely gay, I think.

  28. Congrats on the Post of the Day Award!


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