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May 14, 2009

Unmentionables.

Is there anything I won’t discuss? Possibly not.
Occasionally I walk into the laundry room and I see this:
DSCN5470
I always chuckle to myself. I put them there…to air dry, but the vision still surprises me.
I think: Wow, we have a situation here. A bra situation.
I counted 13 bras here that were washed just yesterday. I do laundry nearly everyday.
Only 2 of these belong to me. None belong to the Coach.
11 bras between two girls that were worn in the last few days. WOW.
Clearly, these are around more for their looks than for their necessity.
Some are designed to be workhorses. They have their work cut out for them and they are not always pretty. Those would be mine.
I can't even remember when mine went from cute and colorful to blah.....maybe around 1999?
Perhaps a trip to the lingerie store is needed for Mom.
And I don’t usually go to that ladies store that is named after *someone* and her secret. Cause I figured out a long time ago what *her* secret is:
Their overpriced bras don’t fit me. Secret revealed.
But I dread going….almost as bad as buying a bathing suit. Or going to my dentist for my yearly pap exam. Yes, I said dentist. We have bad insurance, what can I say?
I dread it.
*********************
Ok, for a cute bra story. My daughter is going to kill me……so you know it has to be good.
The Scene: My Grandmas house for our family Christmas celebration 6 years ago.
The peeps: Grandma, Uncle, Coach, Me, our 2 girls ages 7 and 10. My cousin, his wife and their 2 girls ages 8 and 12.
Grandma takes pride in purchasing just the most embarrassing wonderful gifts for each of us. They are usually taken to goodwill as soon as we make it back home. But we love her and I have taught the girls to fake it. IT is part of life. Fake the ‘being happy’ for your OLD OLD Great Grandma.
We are all sitting around Grandma’s Florida room opening up our tacky as hell wonderful gifts.
Linds (7yrs old) opens up a box and blindingly reaches in and pulls out a pair of colorful panties and a training bra.
Her face went from smiling and happy to devastated in one split mili-second.
Have you ever seen a baby projectile vomit?
Well, my child projectile cried. The tears SHOT straight out of her eyes.
She started bawling.
I was floored. I had never seen her react to anything like this before that did not also involve bleeding.
We were all stunned and just kind of starred at her for a moment, trying to digest what in the heck was wrong with her.
I grabbed the bra/underwear and shoved them back into the box and we finished opening up gifts and did not say a word about it.
BTW: the other 3 girls also received matching bra’s/undies with NO tears.

32 comments:

  1. That picture is so very funny!!!

    Your poor daughter...
    sandy toe

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  2. I still cry every time I look at my bra.

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  3. no one can ever say that suz does not make good on her promises!!! your bra photo seriously had me laughing... not at the bras, but the fact that you actually posted the photo! if linds checks out your blog today you are dead... between the story and the photo... oooooooo...

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  4. I am jealous of your laundry room...mine is a tiny little thing and the clothes that hang dry flow over to a rack in my bedroom...bras and all!

    I also hate bra shopping as much as I hate shopping for pants...(makes me want to cry!)-when I find some that fit I have to buy 3 or 4 of the same!

    Happy Thursday!

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  5. Oh my gosh! Poor girl...underwear for Cmas..both kinds. I would'a probably been too embarrassed to even cry. LOL

    About getting yourself new bras... I read in Consumer Reports that a brand you can get at Target for pretty cheap lasts longer than some of the fancy store bras. I haven't tested out the theory yet, because my fancy store (if you can call JC Penney 'fancy') bras haven't bitten the big one yet.

    On another note... how in the world DO they check bras at Consumer Reports? Do we WANT to know? And what does that say about my exciting life that I'm sitting around reading about bras in Consumer Reports? LOL

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  6. That is hilarious!! My younger niece probably would have had the same reaction. She's going to be 13 in a few months, and still wants NOTHING to do with any of it!!!

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  7. Poor child! Life would be boring without these great memories of Christmas gifts gone bad, huh??? My first shopping trip to a major store in Atlanta for a bra when I was a teen, the snooty saleslady told me they didn't sell them small enough for me!!!!!!!!!!!

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  8. You are halfway to living in China! :)

    Poor girl, I would have had the same reaction. If my grandma did that to me TODAY, I might cry.

    Such a fun post!

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  9. I am blushing for that child.

    The only time I have been to VS in the last decade, an overly heavy salesclerk announced loudly, "Oh, you're built like me. You'll need a huge bra." She's dead now.

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  10. P.S. I asked my daughter this morning why her bras are never in the laundry. She said it was because she has only one. I offered to buy her more and she said, "No. I'm fine with one." There will soon be a cloud of flies around her, I fear.

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  11. I can't stop laughing! Poor Linds! I hate to say it but my six year old granddaughter can't wait until she's old enough for a bra. She sees the cute ones in her size (yes they even have them with Disney Princesses on them) and swears she's old enough.

    I thought your laundry room was your kitchen. It looks like it has more counter space and cupboards than my kitchen.

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  12. Sometimes I see my future in your posts! My girls are 7 and 10 right now. A couple of girls in the 10 year olds class are sporting new bras with pride. Won't be long before my classic boring white and black bras are joined by too many cute pretty ones! lol
    Great picture and post.

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  13. Ha ha, my bras are so sad too! I would love to wear pretty bras again, but it's all about the practicality these days.
    I did go shopping the other day to get some new bras, but I didn't get any. All the pretty ones have those deadly underwires. They're just too painful to wear.

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  14. Does she remember it now as funny, or still upsetting? What was Grandma thinking?
    I have always thought that the only place to go bra-shopping and get really good service is Nordstrom. They actually KNOW how to help you get the right fit, if you are brave enough to ask. It's not cheap, but they get it RIGHT. XO

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  15. what's wrong with getting underwear as a gift.. i ask for it... he he... now bee maybe tomorrow you can have a post explaining why women, and i do mean all women, feel the need to hang their bra's on anything from door handle to a car door. i as a male need some understanding!

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  16. Awe Shucks, Suz... I thought at least one or two of those bras belonged to Coach.. Well--maybe not since I'm sure he wears his for several weeks before washing them. Ha Ha....

    Cute stories...My ex mother-in-law was a nice lady--but cheap (or cheapest in the world) describes her well. We alsays told our boys to smile and say thank you when getting those AWFUL gifts from Memaw at Christmas... Oh--did we always get some doozies...

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  17. I'm not saying a thing!

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  18. I love that your laundry room resembles mine, except that yours is gorgeous and mine is just a laundry room, and in mine the only bras hanging from every hook type apparatus are mine... and they are more of the industrial lifter upper types!

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  19. I'm rolling here over your comment pertaining to "someone" and her secret. Hubby always wants to stop in and shop around but I'm with you, those things are not made for us "normal" women. We need things that are comfortable. Give me a sports bra anyday.

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  20. That is too funny! I have a daughter that would have responded exactly the same way at that age...the poor dears....lol. Yes, isn't it amazing how much laundry these young girls can go through! Yikes!

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  21. He he - only a woman would understand this :-D

    Shopping for bras and shoes is a nightmare - nothing ever fits. Why is that?!

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  22. Your laundry room is so spacious. I LOVE IT!! Ours is cramped and very small.

    Poors Linds. Maybe she was hoping for something else? When I was little I couldn't wait to be able to fill out a bra and wear it. I'm still waiting...

    Much love from NJ,
    Sue
    xoxo

    P.S. I'm sorry my evil orange hungry guy made it to your dreams. I've completely ignored him from the moment I brought him home. Maybe that's why he's trying to escape my house and get into yours.

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  23. Came by from Shellmo's. Cute story!

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  24. I'll go bra shopping with you. Mine are utilitarian and OLD!!! We'll take pictures and blog about it;)

    One year, I received a training bra/panty set for Christmas. It was red/white/blue striped, and I would have worn it every day if it hadn't required laundering!! Yeah, red, white & blue....it was the '70's!

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  25. great photo and a really novel idea!

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  26. I hate to spend money on bras. I am with you on Victoria Secret's! Very clever the way you put it! I remember my grandma would always get us underwear for our birthday. After the first few years I got used to it and knew it was coming!

    After seeing this I am thinking I should maybe have a few more!

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  27. Looks like a bra farm over at your place! LOL!
    I too figured out that "Vicki's Secret" was a scam! Now I shop at Kohls!

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  28. Your daughter is going to KILL you!!! :)

    And yes, I remember when my bras and panties ALL matches, they were all REALLY flirty and cute (or very sexy and seductive). Now, oh no. They are made for comfort and durability ONLY. There is no concern for matching; no concern for sex appeal. I could care LESS what my husband thinks about them. LOL. I haven't entered a VS store in YEARS (other than to say "Where's the closest bathroom in this mall?") :)

    Cute post, darling!

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  29. i don't dry my bra's either..it ruins them....so many people dry...and I ask why ?? I hardly dry my clothes....it also the reason why never ironboard never gets put away.

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  30. I know I'll be embarrassed if for some reason I'm rushed into medical care and my fugly underthings are exposed to the world.

    All the more reason to take my vitamins and wear my seatbelt!

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  31. I can't believe you actually posted the picture of the bras. LOL I want to hear the story about going to the Dentist for a pap exam???

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  32. Did you ever find out why they horrified her so much?

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