April 14, 2009

Learning stuff from an old-old Lady.

We had a fun Easter at my Grandma's House...there was much laughter and lots of "what did you say's?"
That part happens when your 65 yr old Uncle and 96 yr old Grandma still have not figured out how to work their hearing aids. (that they have been wearing for the same amount of time...perhaps 30 years?)

It can be quite frustrating...but while you are venting to your cousin/ husband/ daughter about how "they" can't hear anything, you realize that "they" also can't hear you venting/laughing.
I suppose them not hearing sometimes has it's advantages.

The first thing my Grandma demanded asked the 4 Great Granddaughters do is go outside and blow bubbles. Never mind the fact that one of the Great Granddaughters just turned 18 and is going to college in the fall....If grandma wants to see you blow bubbles...then you know what to do.

At one point a neighbor (that we don't know) came out and Grandma yelled over to the man: "go get Christopher and have him blow bubbles with the girls"....the neighbor nodded. Christopher never came out...I am still wondering if Christopher might be 30 yrs old.....or older.

They also searched for Easter eggs...that is always fun. I made it a bit harder this year by hiding some in the cactus. Hey, they are big now...they can handle it. ;0

There were many insults thrown around. All by my Grandma. Really, she can't possibly mean these things...can she?

The things I learned on Easter from my Grandma:

*My butt is apparently getting bigger...and from having too much S*X!!!!
Yes, she said this to ME...infrontofmychildren!

*"What is Granddaughter #3 wearing? That oufit is horrible...isn't it"?

*Lindsay is such a pretty girl. She is getting so tall....why doesn't she cut her hair short though. That would be cute. (she thinks all women should cut their hair hers)

*I learned that my Grandma's niece got cancer from sitting on a pair of old rusty scissors...This happened way back when I was a little girl. Apparently the Niece cut her hip on the rusty scissors when they were left of her couch.....and got stomach cancer. Really. Really? Yes, she told me this. I was thinking this may have only caused her to need a tetanus shot???
That reminds me that years ago, my Grandma was convinced that anyone who contracted HIV could clean their blood by drinking bleach. really. Yeah, she is pretty much what you call OLD SCHOOL.
But she is my Old School-lady. School lady? that sounds funny.


  1. Grandma is adorable and I'm glad the girls made her day by blowing bubbles! That's really sweet!

  2. I'm not sure I would survive a visit to your grandma.

    Does that mean we won't be seeing a reduction in your butt size anytime soon?

  3. oh suz... your gramma stories are always great :) and you are so good to go and withstand the entertainment! i am just glad she didn't dig out those rusty scissors and cut lindsay's hair!

    i hope your hubby won't mind you "dieting" to get your butt back in shape ;0 oh my!

  4. Grandma stories are the best~
    sandy toe

  5. OH. MY. GOSH!!!

    Sometimes I WISH some of my relatives were a little hard of hearing if you get my drift! LOL

  6. Love the Grandma stories. She sounds very much like mine. My Granny has lost her filter too.

  7. My grandmother has hearings aids and chooses not to wear them. She says she can hear fine. That could be why we went out of town (including my mom and dad who she lives with) and she had no idea any of us were gone until two days into our trip!

  8. I love your stories about your Grandma. I miss all the stories my grandmother would tell. My favorite thing was having tea, then reading the leaf bits in the bottom of our cups.
    I'm glad you bring the girls and I'm glad they enjoy entertaining great grandma. This is what memories are made of.
    Now, about that sex-butt!

  9. this made me laugh!! I really miss my grandma...

  10. Oh Lord, I would've needed resuscitation after the sex comment!!! She is a nut!

  11. If my grandma were still alive I'm sure she'd be convinced that cod liver oil could cure HIV.

  12. The more you tell about your Grandma the more she reminds me of my Dad. He can't hear much any more either, but doesn't need his hearing aid. I guess one advantage of being in your 90s is that you can say whatever pops into your head. I loved this post.

  13. See, it's like when the kids were little, & we wrote down the funny things they said...a second childhood! I LOVE your Grandma stories. She is one of those people who puts spice into life. I hope to be sassy and funny when I'm in her age group, too. Think of how much fun it will be to say anything that you want to, and entertain the family! Hugs to you & her.

  14. Cute stories from Grandma, Suzanne. I always love hearing her tales... She's just a TAD out-spoken, isn't she????? What a Cutie... Someone her age can get by with stuff like that... If she was that way when she was younger, I'll bet she had some enemies!!!! ha ha

    Thanks for a cute post.

  15. I love Grandma stories.
    One of the last times I was visiting my Grandma before she died (she lived in rural Minnesota) she was complaining that Laotian immigrants had moved into the town and "everyone's cats are now disappearing!" (meaning, of course, that the Laotians were eating the cats!)

    Totally not true, but it was humorous nonetheless.
    Gotta love the Grandmas!

  16. Your Grandma cracks me up! I have a Nana like that too. They don't mean things the way they come out. They can't possibly. I can't believe she told you your butt was getting bigger from too much sex!! I can't explain that one. :-) Yea Christopher was easily 35+ years old. Of course he wasn't stepping food outside!!

    At least it's never dull at Grandma's house, right? She's a hoot.

    Much love from NJ,

  17. I'm thinking it will be great to be 96 and say whatever I want to people. I'm going to go and start a list...

  18. And this just made me cry.

    I miss my Grandma.

    And my daughter's Grandma.

    Glad you had a great holiday.

    We blew bubbles here, too.

  19. hahahahaha how cute is that.... she sounds so sweet, and how lucky you guys are to have her!


  20. she sounds like a real character. I lost my gran when I was about twelve. I really miss her still- she was my greatest fan ever

  21. awe how awesome i miss my grandma. i remember going to grandmas house one day so she could tell me her big news. she said ( between puffs) Suzie, this is the best thing ( puff, puff) I quit smoking!!. I said Grandma are you ok? she said (puff) yes I went to a hypnotherapist and they hypnotized me ( puff, puff) and now I don't smoke!! Isn't that great news!!
    She paid 200 bucks for someone to make her think she quit smoking!! I called them and threatened to sue if they didn't pay her back immediately.

  22. You could write a book about "Grandma's Words of Wisdom." Big butts and too much s.. lol :)

  23. Love the Grandma post! Just funny to me that she wanted the girls to go outside and blow bubbles, and better yet they did it!!

    Glad you had a fun Easter with Grandma!

  24. I love your Grandma stories! Too FUNNY! Especially the one about your butt - sorry about that - but it was REALLY funny! :)

  25. OH MY GOSH! This is so funny. I didn't know that your butt got bigger from sex. Mine is flat as a pancake. What does that say? I have to go talk to Gary right this second. I always wanted a big butt as opposed to a fat back. Who the heck has a fat back? Kaishon's mom, that's who...
    But enough about me! LOVED the scissor story too. And I am totally going to buy some bleach to take to work with me this week. I have always wanted to help people in great ways! THIS is the solution we have been waiting for. You gotta love Grandma's. I miss mine!

    PS I would also have LOVED to see the 30 year old man blowing bubbles. I guess in Grandma years he is a baby : ).

  26. okay, so you're saying that according to grandma the best way to have a tiny ass is stop having sex? then my ass should be invisible

  27. I love stories about your grandma...she is so darn cute and says such funny things. I bet you all do a lot of laughing when your all together!

  28. OMG! See I learn something new everyday. I'll have to tell hubby we have to lay off the S*X so my butt will get smaller! Now, how do you get rid of the saddle bags??

  29. I love your grandma! I love that she had the kids blow bubbles and I love that she is so...just herself.


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